On My Mind, vol.15

a painting, a pair of jeans, and a soft landing

I didn’t know it then, or maybe I did, but I didn’t know what it would become. It was the layering of color that first drew me to the ceramics perched on a wooden table in the back left corner—magenta, pink, green, blue, black—stacked without muddying. I knew I had to have the mug, the deal shaken upon when the shop owner told me the artist dug the clay from the sides of roads sides of the roads with his own hands.

Back in November, while visiting family in Nashville, I wandered about in the small town (correction: street) of Leipers Fork, where an artisan market was housed up on the hill, a campfire burning outside with sticks and marshmallows to roast. Inside, there was jewelry and paintings and ceramics and something calling my name.

When I returned to Philadelphia, I can’t quite remember how it happened but I had asked my friend, and work confidante, who’s also a painter, if she’d want to create a painting for me. She said yes.

I’d admired her first as a writer. Then, as a friend. And finally, as a painter the first time I went to her apartment and saw the art covering the walls. As I got to know her more, I learned about her process, how they all ended up as they were, layer by layer. Some works had a stratified collage-like quality I was drawn to, what you see might be the umpteenth iteration of what was originally underneath, and I wanted something of hers. Her mind, her hand, or a piece of art.

The color palette of the mug acted as the starting point for the inspiration. And then flowers, and her imagination took over. I’ve been anticipating it ever since.

And so, last Friday, my second-to-last day in Philly, she brought it over and I gently clasped it in my hands. Although she said it was fine to let it unravel, all four feet of it, I softly unrolled it on the floor and my jaw unraveled with it. The melon, the melody, the melancholy. The red, the roses, the reverence. The viridian blues, the vase, the volume of emotions I felt sputtered forth in one glance.

I don’t have the mug with me right now, half my life packed away in storage, but I do have the painting. It’s rolled up, and it’s become a sort of placeholder for where I’ll land a little longer. But first I have to get it framed.

AND YOU SHOULD GO FOLLOW grace.cowboy & TULIPS IN A BLENDER!!

this is it <3 <3 <3

As life never lingers, here’s what last week looked like…

reading

Well, I found myself short on time last week, and my reading bonanza withered away. It’s halfway through the month, and I still have to write my Books I Read In March post, and finish reading three more books in April since I made a goal in the beginning of the year to read at least four books every month.

• Kairos by Jenny Erpenbeck: Taking place in the Cold War era, Berlin still divided, it’s interesting to read a book about such a human experience: love and living. While it’s also interesting because I’ve never read a fiction work about people living in East Berlin, which makes it all the more compelling. At one point the main character gets permission to leave to visit her extended family, the government trusting she’ll return, and she does. Because her family is there, her life is there, and, most importantly for her, her lover is there.

on deck

Unfortunately, the moment I left Philly, I received a bunch of emails saying the books I’d been awaiting were ready for pickup… However, in the interim, I’m planning to finish reading Kairos and once that’s done, read Another Word for Love by Carvell Wallace, a book I was gifted over the holidays. If you have any recs, well…

wearing

• Tuesday / Wednesday / Thursday: I made the decision the weekend introducing last week to make my move this past weekend, which meant I needed to pack my entire closet. I organize my wardrobe in two parts: hanging clothe and dresser clothes. The clothes that get hung up are ones that I wear often, and all the seasons are showing and it’s divided by item type and then ROYGBIV order within each section. The dresser clothes might be less worn sweaters or pants, plus undergarments, athleisure, and loungewear. To my surprise, I fit all my hanging clothes into one check-in size suitcase, and the rest into various bags. Anyways, I left out a few things so that I had something to wear to the three days I’d be in office. I ended up wearing my wide-leg jeans with a sweater or jacket each day with my sneakers that I’ve worn non-stop because 1. they’re cool 2. they’re comfy.

inspired by

• A forming friendship, with a bird. In the light post that hangs outside my door at home, there’s a nest. I’ve acquainted myself with the bird that’s built it. A robin, sleek and big-bellied. Readying itself to lay eggs, I’m guessing. Each time I walk up the steps or out the door, she flees. I give her a little warning and off she putters to the rooftop next door or down to the lawn. I feel like I’m wronging her and her incoming littles ones, that I’m disturbing whatever peace she’s created on the ledge while I’ve been away. But at night, when I pass, she remains. I never thought about birds sleeping. Apparently, birds sleep with half their brain awake to check for potential threats. But I hope as she acquaints herself with me she feels less required to flee during the day. Update to come.

• When making my memory box frames, I missed a post-it note I’d saved since freshman year. I had gotten to know each of my 15 other classmates over the course of the year we lived, studied, and traveled together prettyyy well. And I can’t remember when, but a small group made little notes encapsulating everyone’s character. And I found mine, and I laughed. Mostly because it’s still true.

• My mom came to help me move, and at the end of the day, when we still had five hours of driving ahead of us, she remarked on what a fun day it was. I laughed, and then I paused. Because it was fun. It reminded me that even the most exhausting endeavors can be joyful when you’re doing it with someone you love.

goal for the week

• Find a routine. It takes me half an hour to do what usually takes me five so I’m in need of creating a rhythm of sorts, everything having a place for the time-being.

• Write and publish Books I Read in March.

Let me know what you’re wearing and reading in the comments!